So I was pregnant 2 years ago, my daughter is now 21 months. Before I fell pregnant with her, I struggled with an irregular cycle and later found out that my ovaries were polycystic so I wasn’t ovulating regularly. Fortunately before needing to worry about any tests for hormone levels and cycle mapping, it turned out that I was pregnant. Yay.
But I remember in those months of TTC how much I hated doing home pregnancy tests. My cycle would vary from a perfect 4 weeks to almost 6 weeks. My husband would nag for me to test as soon as he realised I was late and I was always disheartened when the test was negative so I got into the habit of waiting it out so that I could get the disappointing news from period blood as opposed to waiting for the pee stick results. In my mind, doing a test makes me even more hopeful so it’s that much more crushing when it’s negative – is that odd?
Anyway, we decided to play "Vatican Roulette" since last year and see if anything happened. But nothing did. And we weren’t trying very hard. Last week he asked me about going back onto birth control because he doesn’t think it’s the right time to have another baby anymore (business considerations and such). I told him that I didn’t want to go back onto the pill because of the expense, the effect on my already low libido and the fact that my cycle seems relatively normal. Famous last words. In the last few months I’ve had one 5.5 week cycle and otherwise all around 28 days. But now I’m sitting at over 5 weeks again…
And I don’t want to test!
But my boobs are feeling a bit tender. Not heavy. The skin is sensitive to touch. Yesterday I got sick and can’t figure out if it was something I ate or an indication of something happening (because I felt better as soon as I had puked.) I’ve also been moody. But the problem is that PMS symptoms are so similar to early pregnancy symptoms. Tender boobs is not something I usually have a problem with, but as soon as you start to think of the possibility, you become hyper-aware of everything else that could indicate a bun in the oven.
Has anyone else experienced this? Am I crazy to hate peeing on a stick?